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Joke of the Day

I'm not saying my son is ugly...
But on Halloween he went to tell the neighbors to turn down their TV and they gave him some candy.

Random Jokes

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?
It was wrong on so many levels.

Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn't get arrays.

I was feeling depressed, my wife put her hand on my back and said "Earth."
It meant the world to me.

Office Jokes

What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Why is seven bigger than nine?
Because seven ate nine.

School Jokes

What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?
Cool Ranch!

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?
European

Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?
Guilty

Educational Jokes

What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?
they were cooked in Greece

Why do bears have hairy coats?
Fur protection.

Management Jokes

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.

Did you watch the new comic book movie?
It was very graphic!

My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.

Professional Jokes

Why do programmers prefer dark chocolate?
Because it's bitter like their code.

Why don't programmers like nature?
There's too many bugs.

Which song would an exception sing?
Can't catch me - Avicii

Decor Jokes

When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar.

What do ghosts call their true love?
Their ghoul-friend

What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.

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corporate Jokes

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill

What do you call two barracuda fish?
A Pairacuda!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

Interior Jokes

What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop!

How does a dyslexic poet write?
Inverse.

Want to hear my pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.

fun Jokes

What do you call two barracuda fish?
A Pairacuda!

What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!

Tech Jokes

Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Parsing HTML with regex.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...
It's impossible to put down

Gadgets Jokes

Where did you learn to make ice cream?
Sunday school.

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?
They say the business is toast.

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.

Casual Jokes

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?
Yep, people are just dying to get in there

What was a more important invention than the first telephone?
The second one.

What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

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